


Gone Bananas

by tordarroch



Category: Apex Legends (Video Games)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Apex Games, Clothed Sex, Coming Untouched, Electricity, Gone Bananas outfit, M/M, Omorashi, Rough Sex, Watersports
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-20
Updated: 2020-08-20
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:28:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26016532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tordarroch/pseuds/tordarroch
Summary: Crypto helps Mirage open up.
Relationships: Crypto | Park Tae Joon/Mirage | Elliott Witt
Comments: 6
Kudos: 70





	Gone Bananas

**Author's Note:**

> my mate liz on twitter said something about crypto's fingers vibrating and my mind went straight to piss so the concept of the vibrating fingers is theirs, but the piss is all my fault. anyway this is my first apex fic so just hang on, I've got my training wheels on.

He hadn't done it on purpose. 

Not really.

He just hadn't really thought about it and, before he even had a chance to, Mirage was being hauled into the nearest portacabin. Crypto forcibly kicked the door down in one motion before throwing Mirage's dazed and confused body around like some kind of ragdoll. 

"What the hell are you doing?" He managed to yell out as he narrowly avoided hitting the table in the middle of the room. Although maybe if he had hit it, it would have knocked him out and he wouldn't have to deal with whatever _this_ was.

"More like what the hell are _you_ doing?" Was Crypto's curt reply as he let a surveillance drone hover around, scanning the perimeter. He was acting almost nonchalant; like he hadn't just tossed Mirage in here like a sack of potatoes. 

"I was just… y' know, walking?" He offered, scrambling to his feet and brushing himself down as he watched Crypto stalk back and forth. He wished he knew what this guy's deal was, but he'd given up trying to decipher him. It wasn't worth his energy, no matter how appealing the guy was. 

However, Crypto didn't seem to like his response, his expression going from distant to irritated in seconds. 

"Walking? Into a wide-open space in the line-of-sight of at least five sniper spots? You trying to get yourself killed?" Crypto spat, a particular anger apparent on his face that Mirage had never seen before. 

"Well, no…" He mumbled, rubbing the back of his head. "Not like actively, anyway…" he said under his breath, but he knew Crypto had heard; knew by the way he strode towards him, his imposing stature enough to make Mirage shrink. 

"You piss me off," Crypto sneered, staring down at him, his eyes darting back and forth over Mirage's face and he felt so insignificant; so vulnerable to be actually seen by someone. "You put on this stupid facade...." He paused, reaching out and gripping Mirage's face, holding it firmly and Mirage had to admit, it was a bit thrilling, or would be if it wasn't so fucking weird given that they were in the middle of the games and this was _Crypto_. "This fucking…" Crypto stopped himself again, biting his tongue as he rolled his eyes and let out a deep chuckle. "...Mirage," he said after a moment. "I just got that."

Mirage couldn't help but let out an awkward laugh, reaching up and placing his hands on Crypto's wrists. His cheeks probably looked comical as they were squished together by Crypto's fingers, but the strange texture of synthetic pads against his skin enough to almost distract him. "Y-Yeah, it's… y' know, it is what it is," he decided on finally, trying to seem calm and chill, but this was getting stranger the longer Crypto held his face. 

"You act like everything is a joke… You don't take shit seriously, and you act like nothing bothers you… Like you don't feel shit the same way," Crypto said slowly, his words calculated and precise. "You're not so special, and you know it. You feel everything, maybe even more so."

"What, you trying to claim I'm some kinda sensitive guy?" He asked, quirking his eyebrow. "I'm sorry, but if you're trying to have some sorta Shake… uh… spearian love affair, you've come to the wrong legend."

Crypto simply huffed in response, his hands falling to Mirage's chest and for a moment, he thought he had hurt his feelings; like maybe this was leading to some intense love confession. Could he blame the guy? Not if he had taken Mirage at face value, no, but he claimed to have seen through his facade, so honestly, Mirage had no idea what the hell Crypto was doing with him. 

Before he could say another word, the hands on his chest suddenly tightened, and gravity was suddenly a thing of the past as he was once again hauled up and slammed into the nearest wall, the force enough to knock the air out of his lungs as a shock of pain ran through his body.

"You still feel pain, that much is obvious," Crypto said as he lowered Mirage, his feet desperately seeking purchase on the floor but his hands instead found their way onto Crypto's shoulders, trying to keep himself upright. Okay, maybe he had read this completely wrong and his life was about to end. 

"If you were any sort of uh, gentleman, you woulda bought me some popcorn to snack on as I watch my life flash before my eyes," Mirage remarked, forcing a fake grin but his nerves were showing; his voice shaky. 

Still, he couldn't bring himself to fight back. 

If Crypto had heard him, he had chosen to ignore his comment, his hands suddenly splayed out on Mirage's chest, and if Mirage hadn't been so terrified, he would have thought Crypto was feeling him up… Hell, who was he kidding? His mind went straight there as Crypto seemingly felt out his pecs through his thick leather outfit, the gaudy banana print making Crypto sneer, and he honestly had no idea what to say; what to do as he just stood there panting. 

"Hmm, well," Crypto started, tilting his head and locking eyes with Mirage. "You can still feel surprise too," Crypto continued, a smirk softening his features just enough to make Mirage's heart skip a beat. Okay, so he wasn't some blonde bimbo with a bigger bra size than her IQ, but with that kind of look… that kind of face… He could certainly make an exception.

It wouldn't be the first time.

"Well what?" Mirage asked as he swallowed hard, leaning back against the wall just to give himself some room to breathe because it was starting to heat up, or maybe it was just him, or perhaps it was the leathers… it was something. Attempting to alleviate his slight discomfort, he found himself blowing upwards, trying to stop sweat from dripping into his eyes, the warm air offering nothing but a reminder that he really needed to invest in some mints. 

Crypto clucked his tongue as he stepped closer, taking all the space Mirage had created in an instant. Greedy, Mirage thought, but damn, he was really starting to be curious about how greedy Crypto could get. It felt like there was some sort of lag, and Mirage briefly wondered if this was actually real or some costly simulation he had woken up in - it wouldn't have been the first time he'd got blackout drunk and ended up somewhere weird. True, never a simulation, but like… this wasn't too outlandish when you compared it to his usual Saturday night. 

But then Crypto pressed his body against Mirage's, and he knew for sure this was no simulation. He could feel Crypto's hard cock against his thigh; could hear his slightly laboured breathing and just a glance at his face told him all he needed to know. 

Well more… it told him what he wanted to know: that Crypto was definitely trying to get into his pants. 

And if he thought Crypto wouldn't destroy him for trying to take charge, he would totally have just dropped his trousers and showed Crypto his boner. 

"You can still feel shock," Crypto whispered as he leaned in closer, their small height difference negligible as Crypto traced his lips over Mirage's jaw, one of his hands sliding to Mirage's neck as the other slowly made its way lower. He was so distracted that Crypto's words didn't register with him. He barely noticed the index finger pressed down on his neck; on his pulse, the other hand teasing him as it toyed with his waistband. Suddenly, his whole body seized up, a long list of vowels dribbling from his lips, his body spasming as he reached out to hold onto Crypto, a deep electric throb running through his body, and Crypto pressed down harder against his neck; holding him closer as his body shook. 

Everything felt fuzzy; his teeth aching in his gums as Crypto massaged his neck, his fingers emitting a small pulse of electricity as he stroked his thick vein through his skin. It felt possessive, the way Crypto pinned him against the wall and held him up. He had no idea what was going on, but he had no desire to leave; to call for help. After all, did he really want someone finding him like this? 

He knew how pathetic he looked, still mumbling words in a language he wasn't sure was even real, his body twitching as Crypto just rocked against him. Was he getting off on this? 

Different strokes for different folks, he guessed, but wanting him incapacitated like this wasn't exactly a new thing. Still, the electricity, that was an exciting first, and as weird as his whole body felt right now, he was beyond titillated by the possibility of what those fingertips could do. 

Finally, the shocks slowed down and instead, he just felt a deep warmth in his body. A deep flush crept onto his face as Crypto's hand slipped under his clothes, finding his skin so quickly. If it hadn't been for other more pressing thoughts, he might have considered that his outfit wasn't as protective as he'd expected. But instead, all he could think about was his overwhelming need to take a leak. Crypto's hand pressing down and brushing over his abdomen didn't help. 

But as he tried to speak, his words still came out in a jumble, tongue feeling too large for his mouth. Then suddenly Crypto was looking at him again, his other hand forcing Mirage's face towards him, and seeing Mirage's cheeks were on fire as his hand pressed down harder, a cocky smirk crept onto Crypto's face. 

"Ah, you can still get flustered," Crypto said slowly, his face so close to Mirage's that he could smell the spearmint tang on his breath and he instinctively turned to look away, knowing his own quite honestly smelt like shit in comparison. He knew the last thing in his stomach was a handful of protein snacks and a vat of energy drink. 

Maybe that was why he suddenly needed to piss. He'd needed the boost but really, needing to take a slash in the middle of the games was annoying, and needing to take one right now was pretty much the worst thing he could think of. 

But the way Crypto's hand remained on his stomach; the way the weight of his touch teased his body had him confused; baffled. What was Crypto's endgame right now? He had no idea, but he just knew that drinking his own weight in bright green go-go juice and then getting electrocuted wasn't an award-winning combination - and he would know about how to win awards. 

"Lemme go," he slurred, the words feeling so alien on his numb tongue as he weakly pushed against Crypto. "Gotta take… Gotta go," he finally managed to get out, but Crypto's hands remained on his body, the small shove forcing the last bit of protest from his body as he felt Crypto's hand press down again. All he could do was let out a feeble groan and weakly grasp at Crypto's oversized jacket. 

"Does the over-confident, self-important, big-shot Mirage ever get embarrassed?" Crypto asked, and Mirage knew he wasn't expecting an answer. That was fine by him; he didn't want to dignify it with any response other than a roll of the eyes; a glance away. "Do you ever feel shame?" He asked, his other hand gripping Mirage's face again, holding it still as he pushed down on his lower abdomen again. 

"F-f-fuck," Mirage whispered, his face dripping in sweat as his body temperature skyrocketed, his heart pounding in his chest as Crypto's fingertips pressed down and suddenly, a deep thrum rumbled through him. The sensation made him tighten his grip, a strange tingle flooding his senses as Crypto's fingertips started to vibrate against his stomach, the rolling waves of pulses over his lower half enough to make his body give up. 

"When was the last time you felt pure humiliation?" Crypto said in a calm and calculated voice, but Mirage could see the hint of colour in his cheeks; the genuine look in his eyes. He was just as surprised that this was happening as Mirage was. It felt like this had all been some sort of weird gay chicken game - like he had been waiting for Mirage to kick his ass and tell him to get lost, and Mirage had been waiting for Crypto to say this was a joke the entire time. 

But instead, here he was, finally letting go as he fell back against the wall, his hands still holding Crypto but now he was at arm's length, and Mirage suddenly felt so exposed. He couldn't do anything though, couldn't stop himself, couldn't cover up as Crypto's fingers continued to massage just above the bladder, the dull vibrations cradling his body into comfort as he felt the first spurt of piss leak from his dick.

And all he could do was let out a low moan. He hung his head, staring down at the fingers still massaging him; the way they looked blurry, or maybe he was just unable to see straight. Everything was starting to feel a little fuzzy as he felt his body relent entirely to the sensation, a thick stream of warm piss flooding his leathers, seeping down his thighs as he bucked slightly against Crypto's hand. 

"Look at the state of you," Crypto said under his breath, leaning over Mirage as he slumped against the wall. His knees trembled as they tried to keep him as upright as they could, but he was almost halfway down the wall. He just found himself gazing up at Crypto, knowing how flustered he looked; knowing the deep shade of his skin, the sweat trickling down his face… and he hadn't done anything to prevent this. He had been too fine with just letting this happen. He didn't think this was his thing, but knowing it was something Crypto wanted to see; wanted to _do_ to him just made him want to put on the performance of a lifetime. 

However, there was no way he could even begin to be anything but authentic right now. He always joked with himself that the only things that he could be himself with were his toilet and his right hand…. And well, he guessed this was kind of a combination of those things, in some roundabout way. 

He couldn't stop himself from letting out a groan as he realised that no, maybe he was just this depraved and pissing himself for the amusement of another man was just another thing on the long list of weird shit that got him hot. 

"You piss like a horse," Crypto remarked as the sound of Mirage audibly pissing against the leather filled the room; a slight echo bouncing around the place that just made Mirage want to crawl into a hole. This was too much. He was never going to come back from this, but he couldn't stop. It was so warm; so pleasant. The rumble of Crypto's fingers pushing every drop out of him and it just felt so good. The relief was overwhelming.

"Well, I'm hung like one so…" He managed to get out, and his choice of remark was punished by Crypto pressing his fingers down harder, the intense vibration enough to make his eyes snap open, his grip tightening on Crypto's jacket, pulling him closer as Mirage felt everything leave him. He had never felt so empty yet satisfied in his entire life. 

But Crypto's fingers didn't stop; didn't relent as they continued to massage his stomach and he just clung to Crypto, a twitching mess. Through fuzzy eyes, he could see Crypto's face; could see his expression, and he knew he was hesitating. Did he not know where to go? Or was this it? 

He weakly let his hand fall between them, his numb fingers clawing at Crypto's belt, but he just couldn't feel anything properly. It wasn't registering, and he just let out a small whine. He just wanted to know if Crypto was still hard. 

Wait, was _he_ hard? 

He could barely feel his own lower half. It just felt... warm. He wasn't even sure how he was still upright. 

"Fuck, you're a mess," Crypto murmured, sliding his vibrating fingers down Mirage's stomach before he roughly grabbed his crotch and yeah, he definitely felt that; the intense rush of heat coursing through his body, forcing him to arch up and slide his arms around Crypto's shoulders. He didn't stop Crypto as he moved his hand from between his legs and raised it to Mirage's face. 

He couldn't even bring himself to wince as fingers gripped his face, turning it as Crypto leaned in and inhaled deeply as he shoved two of his fingers into Mirage's mouth. The smell of piss was overwhelming, and just the way Crypto seemed to be enjoying it was enough to make his cock leak. A second ago he could barely feel his dick, and now it was so hard that he just found himself sucking desperately on Crypto's fingers to try and distract himself, not caring about the taste that lingered on his gloves; that coated his tongue. 

"You're a desperate slut, aren't you?" Crypto muttered under his breath, pressing his fingers down on Mirage's tongue, small vibrations sliding down his throat as he bucked against Crypto, surprised to find friction; surprised that Crypto was this close to him, willing to dirty himself with Mirage. 

Because he pissed himself, he reminded himself, trying not to feel so deprecating when he was moments away from… something. 

So, he found himself nodding as he moved his hands to grip again at Crypto's oversized jacket, his hands still tingling as he tried to find purchase whilst thrusting his whole body against Crypto, unable to control just one part. For a guy who liked to dance, he sure as shit couldn't keep any sort of rhythm right now, but Crypto didn't seem to mind; his intense stare fixated on Mirage's face as he continued to suck his fingers, the vibrations finally stopping as he leaned in, his breath so heavy; so hot. 

"You'd let me do anything," Crypto said so matter-of-factly that Mirage actually didn't even think about it before he nodded. Crypto's tone was so sure; so smug that he didn't feel like it was his place to disagree. 

Not that he would have. Not after a moment of thought. He would have let Crypto use him as a doormat, and all he'd do was remind Crypto to wipe his feet. That was often the case, but hey, at least this time he was being given the option of escape; the chance to disagree. He liked being given an opportunity; appreciated it, even if he couldn't verbalise his thoughts. 

"Turn around," Crypto commanded, his hands already on Mirage's body; helping him and Mirage just complied. If anything, he welcomed the ability to turn away from the other man; his eyes burning into him in a way that made Mirage feel so exposed. 

And now with his heated face against the wall, his skin welcomed the cool metal. His body was still trembling with the electrical current running through it, and he didn't even try to stop Crypto shoving down his piss-soaked leathers. Those fingers instantly slid between Mirage's asscheeks, and Crypto was once again pressing against him; pressing him into the wall as his wet fingers pressed against his hole. 

He could already feel his body opening up, desperate to feel something inside as he flattened his palms against the wall and tried to push back. That pathetic attempt earned him a deep chuckle from Crypto; a noise that reverberated through his entire being as he felt Crypto's lips brush against his ear. 

"Are you too stupid to be able to push me away, or do you _really _want a man like me to fuck you?" Crypto said in a low voice, his finger slowly sliding inside Mirage and he could only raise a shaky hand to his mouth, trying to muffle the noises that wanted to escape, his eyes rolling back in his head as Crypto's fingers pressed in deeper.__

__He didn't understand what Crypto was getting at, but his brain had turned to jelly. It was all Crypto's fault, and he had the nerve to call him an idiot in this moment? What was his deal? He winds Mirage up like this and then mocks him for wanting it?_ _

__Mirage found himself swallowing hard, unable to stop himself from pushing back. Why did he enjoy this so much? He thought he had some weird kinks, but this was starting to push it. Maybe it would explain a few things, but he didn't need to be discovering these kinds of things in the middle of the games._ _

__"You're not going to talk?" Crypto asked, twisting his fingers, pressing at just the right spot to make Mirage let out a jumbled mess of a sentence as he tried to respond before Crypto laughed seductively if that was even possible. Crypto's voice was too much for him; the words, the tone- everything that came out of his mouth was just exquisite, and he'd like to think he knew a bit about what sounded good._ _

__But concentrating on the sound of his voice was just a distraction._ _

__He knew what was coming, but he didn't know what to do about it._ _

__Before he could even try to come up with a plan, Crypto was pushing him harder into the wall, his breath so laboured against Mirage's neck and he swore he felt Crypto smirk against his skin before he felt a deep pulse inside him, his cock instantly twitching._ _

__"F-Fuck," he managed to get out as he pressed his nose against the wall, the metal warming up, but it was still such a relief for his sweltering skin. The vibrations ran through his muscles; his bones. All he could do was buck between the wall and Crypto's firm body._ _

__He could feel Crypto's hard cock against his ass; could feel another finger slipping inside, everything feeling so, so wet. He shook his head in confusion, trying to look over his shoulder._ _

__"Y-You fucking carry lube on you?" He said in a way he hoped sounded judgemental but instead came out as more of a confused whine, his voice breaking as Crypto's fingers pressed down again. The vibrations engulfed his insides, his whole body on fire with arousal, his cock embarrassingly leaking freely as it hung, untouched._ _

__Crypto slipped his fingers out with a laugh, shaking his head and Mirage just remained against the wall, panting with his ass exposed as he once again tried to look over his shoulder at what Crypto was doing, but his jacket was so big… and his own body was just so... disobedient._ _

__"It's gun oil," Crypto remarked before Mirage heard the distinct sound of a condom being rolled onto a hard cock; a thick cock, he hoped, but his vision wouldn't behave as it flashed between Crypto's face and his chest. Trust this guy to carry condoms but no lube._ _

__Mirage wanted to be disgusted, but…_ _

__"I've had worse things inside me," he mumbled, before one of Crypto's hands was on the back of his head, forcing his face back against the wall as he ran his cock down Mirage's crack. Then Mirage suddenly felt everything and nothing, as Crypto shoved his cock inside roughly, slamming his whole body against Mirage, pinning him fully against the wall, letting out a deep groan._ _

__"Fuck, you still feel tight," Crypto said under his breath, and Mirage wanted to say that's what happens when you take a guy off guard, but whatever words he could have formed were most certainly not coming out of his mouth as he simply let out the pathetic groan._ _

__He felt like his entire body was on fire as Crypto started to thrust into him- short, hard jabs followed by a deep grunt- and Mirage could only close his eyes and let himself get lost in the sensation of just being used like this. It felt so good; his cock was twitching with delight at every movement, Crypto's hand tightening in his hair, the other moving to his waist and just holding him; that simple touch enough to make his eyelids flutter._ _

__Was he that touch starved? The way his dick responded by pushing out another drop of semen was a definite indication that he might just be._ _

__Mirage wanted that hand; that fucking hand with the electric, vibrating fingertips... He wanted it to slide around and grip his aching cock; to just touch him enough to push him over the edge but instead, it glided down his taut, scarred body, and gripped the left side of his ass, pulling the cheek enough that Mirage and Crypto both glanced down, but only Mirage did it out of embarrassment._ _

__He knew why Crypto was looking; he would have done the same in his position, and that only made him even more ashamed. Maybe they were more alike than Crypto would ever like to admit? No, he doubted Crypto hated himself to allow himself to be on the receiving end of this kind of attention._ _

__But he couldn't deny how good it felt. He had never been fucked like this; never allowed himself to submit like this fully. Part of him had been too nervous about letting such a thing to take over him. But Crypto had seen this and had coerced it out of him with so little effort._ _

__"Can you take more?" Crypto asked in a deep voice, and Mirage didn't know what he meant- didn't know what else he could have in store for him- but he managed to turn his head with the aid of an almost gentle yank and nod, his eyes heavy; his sight blurry._ _

__"Y-Yeah?" He managed to get out, trying not to look as confused as he was, but everything felt so good. Crypto's cock was just as thick as he'd imagined it, filling him completely._ _

__He pressed his face back against the wall, Crypto's hand finally falling from his hair and he just let out a deep moan as the fingers moved to his stomach, feeling out his firm muscles as the other hand slid further down. Crypto's hands were distracting, but the way Crypto rutted into him was more so, and he barely registered the finger pressing against his stretched hole until it was already inside, sliding alongside Crypto's cock._ _

__Mirage found himself trying to raise his leg, searching for purchase on anything as the weight of Crypto started to overwhelm him, the sensation of the extra finger enough to make his knees tremble. And he knew that wouldn't be the end of it- he could already feel the gentle thrum of Crypto's vibrating fingertips inside him._ _

__"Don't be too loud," Crypto warned, and Mirage furrowed his brows for a brief moment. He had managed to keep a lid on it so far, why did Crypto suddenly think…?_ _

__And then it happened._ _

__The almost gentle lapping of vibrations turned into tidal waves. He felt his whole body convulse as Crypto fucked into him, his finger desperately trying to remain beside his almost frantic cock._ _

__Mirage clamped his hand over his mouth again, yelling loudly against his palm as he couldn't stop himself from climaxing, his orgasm cascading over him as Crypto continued to thrust into him harder; faster. He could feel Crypto was close; could tell so easily by his sudden complete lack of composure, the noises he was making between his heavy breathing like music to Mirage's ears. The moans; the grunts, each enough to make another thick ribbon of semen spill from his cock as he mouthed at his own palm._ _

__"So close, old man" Crypto whispered. He could hear it in his voice; his haggard tone, his voice strained as he tirelessly pounded into Mirage's spent body over and over. His other hand slid to Mirage's chest, holding him tighter, Mirage's numb body so close to collapsing under the weight of the other man._ _

__He desperately tried to ignore the deep warmth Crypto calling him 'old man' had given him._ _

__Mirage didn't know what to say- he was told to stay quiet, but he couldn't stop himself from lowering his hand just enough to say, "Don't stop," in a small, raspy voice. The look Crypto gave him told him he'd heard, but Mirage couldn't read his reaction. That was until Crypto's gaze lowered and stared down between their bodies again, his hair flopped forward and stuck to his forehead, sweat dripping down his temple and Mirage closed his eyes, Crypto's breathing increasing._ _

__His relentless movements slowed down, the vibrations slowly tapering off as Crypto held his breath for the briefest moment before exhaling with relief, his body hunching over; his face pressed against Mirage's back._ _

__Mirage wasn't sure what to expect thought he would be left to fall into a slump in a puddle of semen and piss. Instead, Crypto's hand remained against his chest, holding him close as he completely stopped, his finger and cock slipping out of Mirage and all he could do was twitch in response, his body completely and utterly spent._ _

__"RING CLOSING."_ _

__Both Crypto and Mirage let out a groan in unison before Crypto pulled away, Mirage managing to stay on his feet, his hand instantly reaching down to grab his pants and pull them up to give him some sort of dignity. Not that he had any really to start with before this. Definitely didn't have as much now._ _

__"I will keep an eye out while you clean yourself up," Crypto said with a cold, uninterested tone as he shoved his cock back in his pants and neatened his clothes, his drone already back inside and milling around him. At least he assumed it had been outside this entire time. Did that thing have a record function?_ _

__If this got out, his PR would have a disaster on their hands. Again._ _

__"Be quick," Crypto mumbled, pointing at the small toilet cubicle in the corner._ _

__"Yeah, yeah… Yeah," he replied under his breath, still holding his trousers up as he staggered to the toilet, his body throbbing, his head dizzy as he tried to close the door before realising it was on a sensor._ _

__He didn't miss the glance Crypto shot at the door as it slid shut, their brief eye contact leaving Mirage feeling anxious; confused._ _

__What had just happened? He thought to himself, letting his pants fall to his ankles again as he grabbed the sides of the sink, trying not to dry heave. Was he really hyperventilating now? Was this happening? In the middle of a match? He needed to get back in the game._ _

__"What the fuck is wrong with me," he whispered, turning the tap on and splashing his face._ _

__That was a question for later._ _

__He quickly cleaned himself up as best he could, unable to rid himself of the stench of piss, his clothes still slightly damp, the banana print flickering (probably from water damage, thinking about it) but there wasn't much he could do about that now. If he hadn't pissed himself… or if Crypto hadn't…_ _

__He shook his head, sighing. There was no way Crypto was going to be out there. He'd probably made a break for it as soon as he could._ _

__So much for teamwork…_ _

__He wasn't sure if he could win this thing after what had just happened. There was only so much he could do in one day._ _

__"RING CLOSING."_ _

__Mirage gave the wall a quick punch before he slapped his face lightly. "Alright, c'mon, just… you got this. It doesn't matter what happened. You can do this. You've just got laid… It felt... "He shook his head, laughing to himself as he reached back and stroked his neck. "Alright, it felt good, but don't get distracted. You. Have. Got. THIS!" He yelled, hyping himself up as he kicked the door, watching as it slid open- the last thing he expected to see was Crypto staring at him._ _

__"Are you going to stop fucking around?" He asked, clearly irritated but… he hadn't left._ _

__Mirage just looked at him, dumbfounded before he unholstered his pistol. "H-Hey, yeah, I'm right behind you, don't worry," he mumbled as he tried to spin his gun around his finger, only to fumble and he didn't miss the small smile on Crypto's lips before he rolled his eyes._ _

__"You're an idiot."_ _

__"Y-Yeah?" He replied with a small laugh, inhaling through his teeth as he stood up straight. "Well, you're…" He paused, watching as Crypto started to walk away, the drone humming beside him, and he quickly began to hobble over the room, trying to get his legs to work again. "You're gonna pay for my dry cleaning!" He yelled, getting closer. "And-And you're gonna like-"_ _

__Crypto stopped suddenly, Mirage slamming straight into his back and instantly buckling to the ground._ _

__"Don't push it," Crypto mumbled, shaking his head as he offered out his hand to Mirage._ _

__Okay, Crypto might have thought him to be stupid, but he wasn't that far gone. He knew an olive branch when he saw one, so with no hesitation, he took it._ _

**Author's Note:**

> you can find me on twitter [here](https://twitter.com/tordarroch_) if you want to keep track of my descent into apex madness.


End file.
